My mind reminded me I was strong; my heart corrected me that I wasn't...

Haven't been updating my multiply. I wanted to. But everytime I click on "Post", I decided to close the entire window and forget about it. I've posted so much, yet none of them can actually describe how I really feel..

All the strong side of me - they never last more than 4 days. Then I realise, "lie" is not the word. It is not the exact word to describe all the posted blog entries. It's the state of mind that is doing the tricks. I'm the victim of myself. It sounds ridiculous but true. Yet I can't do anything but to see myself fall and stand.

Yes, perhaps I shall just name my entries this way - fell/stood up. Because the contents are just the tricks being performed out by my mind. My mind reminded me I was strong; my heart corrected me that I wasn't - because it hurts, no matter how hard I try...