An ending holiday

My 2weeks of holiday simply comes to an end in a blink of eyes. There it goes, and everything of hard work starts all over again. I knew that this would be a tougher semester - after so much changes. Every part of my life seems new - new life, new school, new friends (hopefully), new modules...

I'm not sure if such changes are welcomed, and whether I'm ready to adopt to such changes. All I'm sure is that such changes have provided me with new options, and therefore new decisions to be made. That's the part which I hate most. They just left me with tons of uncertainties which disrupt plans.  And that repeats the planning cycle all over again. 

Somehow I feel that this semester will not be a smooth one. But all I can do is wait, when the exam results are out. I am worried, so worried to the extent that I couldn't start any plans for now. If it happens that I failed both modules (which I really hope that will not happen), all plans made will have to be postponed. Crazy. If that's the case, when will I be able to graduate??!

Too many issues are haunting me. I couldn't even get a night of good rest. Waking to umpteen times in the middle of the night and forcing myself to get to sleep. and forcing myself to sleep longer in the morning because I know that I haven't got enough rest, when my body alarm is reminding me that it's time to wake up. Suddenly feel that sleep can be this miserable. or life can be this miserable. 

I had a long jog last night in the park. It was more than twice the distance I would usually jog.  During the jog, I was hoping that somehow I would just disappear, or vanish - altogether, and gone with the wind.